This has been a hard week. My precious child has become the most mischievous two year old.
(yes, that is a leaf stuck in her hair)
I could handle the dipping my deodorant into the toilet, the painting of the bathroom with my concealer, the mixing up the DVDs for the umpteenth time, getting in and using up my favorite perfume, and even the constant destruction of newspaper ads all over the house. Then Sunday came. We ran late making it to church, but I will say she looked adorable in one of her seasonal dresses. I dropped her off at nursery and she went right in (big sigh of relief there), and I went to my meetings until it was time to pick her up so that we could head into Sacrament Meeting (we have Relief Society, Sunday School and then Sacrament last – sorry, Mormon lingo). Sacrament is the most reverent of our meetings. It doesn’t help my plight that I know our Bishop is making a big push for reverence (and he should, but people understand 2 year olds, right?). She has to be one of the absolute worst behaved in that meeting. It’s like the light switches and you see the Dr. Jekyll come out. She knows how to be quiet. She can do it just fine at home, but there she loves to talk as loud as she can and when I try to get her to be quiet she starts screaming and flailing around. I know it will help when Andrew gets home and we can have a tag team. She must sense my fear (of her bad behavior) and plays on it. I think she also knows she has me cornered in the meeting – sooooo hard! So today, I just couldn’t take it. I left after the Sacrament and didn’t stay for the rest of the meeting. While we were going outside to get into the car someone was getting out of a car next to mine. I let go of her hand for a second and she takes off. Those who know where my church is, you know it sits off quite the busy road – well, she starts running straight towards it – only she’s in the grassy/pine straw area and I’m in high heels running after her (not too easy, let me tell you and she is FAST!!!). I finally got her to turn in the other direction (so not heading towards the oncoming traffic) and somehow managed to get her into the car. By this time I am angry, upset, embarrassed (did it have to happen right in front of the foyer so anyone could see – not to mention so all the drivers on the busy road see this crazy momma running after a two year old Lightning McQueen), and tired so needless to say I started to do the ugly cry and I felt a little better (especially after I was able to talk to my mom and Andrew). Days like today I just don’t even want to make the effort to go to church.
Next Sunday I’m going to go to church with my parents so I can get some much needed assistance. But to all the mothers out there that are so much better than me – how do you do it? I thought I was well armed and prepared – I have snacks and water, a magna doodle, and a small bag full of books including church books. I have tried to talk to her in whispers and ask her to use her quiet voice. I have tried to talk to her about Jesus and how He wants us to listen and how that makes Him happy. I don’t want to get into the habit of taking her out of the meeting because I don’t want her to use that when she wants to go, but I don’t want to cause irreverence in the Chapel either. I’ve even threatened that I will tell Santa Claus. So far nothing is working. I know a small part has to be because she misses her daddy (so do I!), but she was progressively getting worse even while we were in Maine and luckily there everyone thought she was so endearing because she was the only child in the branch.
So HELP! Do you have any wonderful advice on how to get my child to behave so I can enjoy going to a much needed spiritual rejuvenation?
9 comments:
Just remember everyone has felt the same way as you!! Randy's approach has always been (and I guess this is from his personal experience of what his mom did to him) is that you take them out and put them in a chair in an empty classroom staring at the wall. You give her no food, no attention, no toys. Then it will make inside the chapel a better place to be. The most memorable times of him doing this I think was with Kelsey. She was sitting in a chair screaming crying in an empty room and he was banging on the window trying to kill a wasp. Needless to say, someone came by and checked to make sure the pounding sound was not our little girl getting beat!
What a day! I think I need some advice in this area too as Dylan is not the most reverent. Although last Sunday when Isaac was out of town, and one of the Beehives sat with me, he was on his best behavior. Maybe until Andrew gets back you can ask one of the Young Women to sit with you.
Wow- what a cute picture!!!! I know it has to be hard being without Andrew and having such a spirited 2 year old. She is definitely a handful. I don't have any pearls of wisdom to share but I do like the other advice already given and I think you are doing a great job!
P.S. I am glad you are coming to our ward next Sunday. Yay!
Unfortunately, my advice is just wait it out. 2 year olds are just 2 year olds, and there isn't a whole lot you can do about it. I can't even tell you how many times we left church early because we just couldn't take it.
You gotta keep trying, because she IS learning, even when it seems like she isn't. But don't let it get you down (even though I TOTALLY understand the frustration!), just realize that it is a developmental stage... and this too shall pass!
She looks a little wild-eyed in your photo. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving.
I'm a friend of Melanie Velasquez- and I saw your blog link on hers. I have to say that I have three little girls (5, 4 and 17 months- most horrible awful age for church because you are praying for nursery to come quickly!) anyway our tactics over the years have been to take them out put them in the car and strap them into their car seat where they can't get out. We don't do this with our littlest one but we have with the older kids. That way they realize it's not "fun" to leave the chapel. It probably doesn't help that you have sacrament last either because kids are tired after two hours of church and playing and I can only imagine going from nursery to sacrament is not a fun thing to do. At least with the classes being after sacrament here the kids have something to look forward to. It will pass I promise, the behavior just changes- if you just stick with it. I have had plenty of times that I question why I'm even at church because I've spent all three hours chasing or trying to calm down my little one in the hall.
I have no good advice...But, while I feel how frustrated you are, I'm soooo glad you wrote out the description of your day. I have a feeling in some amount of time you'll re-read this and seriously crack up at what you had to deal with!
Thanks everyone for your help! Marsha, I do like the idea of putting her in a room. (Welcome Beth!) I don't think the car seat would be good for her because she likes being in the car so it wouldn't be a punishment. She is two (and she is sooooo two!), but I also know I sort of set a precedent now so I want to encourage good behavior from the start so that she'll know what is expected of her. I know I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the best I can be and sometimes it is just HARD! Jana, I can totally laugh at the image of myself running through the parking lot, it had to be a hysterical site (now that I know she is safe - for now). Thanks again!
Don't feel badly. You are a wonderful mother and we've all had times like this. When Sydney was two, she learned about chickens and was obsessed with them. She was always up for a "show" (still is, ya know) and had a wonderful time cracking people up with her lively chicken act. She had moves, let me tell ya! She could do the best chicken immatation around. And even could do the sounds...LOUDLY! Well, in the middle of Sacrament Prayer, she ran up to the front of the chapel and graced everyone with her chicken act. I jumped up to get her and she began taking her act all around the chapel. She was fast! And LOUD! Everyone tried not to laugh and the prayer was stopped. No one could catch that wiggly little chicken girl. When I finally got her, we left. I was red in the face for a long time. Now, 11 years later, I would love to have a video of that morning. I would love to have a video of your running to save Madeleine as well!
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